On Being in Over Your Head…and Realizing It’s Better that Way
If you’re like me in any way, first, I’m sorry. Second, chances are you expend a lot of time, energy and previously non-gray hairs on keeping your head above water, managing chaos, keeping things within your grasp. How’s that working out for you?
It’s not going so well on my end. At the end of most days, I’m still under water and extremely tired from my failed efforts. To say nothing of the fruity Cheerios still littering the hallways from my toddler’s mobile breakfast – 15.hours.earlier.
On good days, I laugh about it. The other 99% of the time I think about how there are a lot of other people more qualified for my life than I am – better pastors, better wives, better moms, better friends. I think of how the awesome people would handle the current quandaries I can’t figure out – the people they would hire, the big decisions they would make with ease and confidence, the effective way they would communicate with a 2-yr old boy about the necessity of using the potty. Those people aren’t just awesome, they’re genuises with perfect hair and really white teeth! I hope I get to meet them someday.
Meanwhile, my life is stuck with me, and I have two choices every day – fight to get to the top or enjoy the swim with all of the other fishes. (If you’re thinking Godfather and “He swims with the fishes,” this is a bad analogy, but hopefully you get what I’m saying.) It’s with the other fishes that I’m reminded I’m part of a team – the human team. With the fishes, I’m fully aware there are things beyond my control but, as Dori would have it, I can do what I do, which is “just keep swimming.”
Fish smell out of water, but under water, they are beautiful and swift, and get this, it’s under water that they’re actually able to breathe. The air is thin and unmanageable on the topside when you’re on your own.
I think it’s good God made fish before He made people – He was able to gather some good data for building the prototype – better together than we are alone, not super-powered, but super-surrounded.
So, for what it’s worth, today I’m giving up the fight. I’m refusing to spend my best energy getting ahead and spending it instead on being where I am and knowing that I can’t do it on my own – and it’s better that way.