I need a new season! And no, it’s not because I’m over the heat and humidity of the South Carolina lowcountry in July (but, seriously!). It actually has nothing to do with the weather at all. Maybe it’s being in a no-sleep-ever-I’d-rather-party-all-night-long season with my 2-yr old that just might be my end, or my husband’s end, or the 2-yr old’s end…wait, what are we talking about? Zzzzzzzzz……….
I NEED A NEW SEASON – obviously!
And so, I’m ready to not only invite change, I’m about to brute force some change into my lukewarm, overtired, overwhelmed and yet still feeling like I’m missing the point world. My senses have become dull and my heart is hard. I’m ready for a season to feel all of the feelings and cry over things that really matter- a list that doesn’t include my messy house, spilled milk (for real – that mess stinks) or laundry (why does it never end? and, how, is it possible for boy’s laundry to reek that badly when they haven’t even hit puberty?!).
Part of my forced change involves my reading list. I’m switching over from my Facebook newsfeed and “The Fault in Our Stars” to books like:
“Strangers at my Door” by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, a classmate of mine from seminary who has spent the last 10 years with his wife and family opening their door to whomever knocks. Just wow, Jonathan! I finished this book three weeks ago and it’s still finding its way into my conversations with people almost daily.
“7: A Mutiny against Excess” by Jen Hatmaker, which is currently rocking my world. Now I need to compost AND give up sugar, all in the same month – look out neighbors and friends!
“I Shall Not Hate” by Izzeldin Abuelaish, which should arrive at my doorstep on Saturday (thank you, Amazon Prime, for simultaneously enabling my change and ruining my life). Abuelaish is a Palestinian doctor, working in an Israeli hospital who lost 3 daughters to the ongoing conflict in the Middle East. I don’t think I’m ready to be exposed to the life he has lived and the things he has seen, but it’s time to start peeling the many layers covering my eyes.
I’m not sure where all of this is leading, but today I turn 33 and everything in me is screaming that it’s time to pay attention because God is ready to show me and teach me something new. And, frankly, I don’t want to miss it. So my prayer for this new year, this new season in my life, is that God will make me tender and teachable, fully alive, and willing to go wherever He leads.
What season are you in? Where are you heading? What are you reading?